Hello all,

 For those who visit and read my blog, I just want to update and let you know that I will no longer be posting on xanga. I have moved to blogspot.com and have been posting there the past couple months.

My main page:

http://warriorpoetforchrist.blogspot.com/

My recent series of posts on the set-apart life - living holy, disciplined, and free.

http://warriorpoetforchrist.blogspot.com/search/label/Set-Apart%20Life

A recent post on Ecclesiastes and the Gospel:

http://warriorpoetforchrist.blogspot.com/search/label/Gospel

Thanks for all your comments on my past posts here. I'm still subscribed to the xanga users listed on the side of this page. I love reading your blog posts and will continue reading them! : )  My current email address is warrior_poet17@yahoo.com for those who may want to send any personal comments or messages. God Bless you all!

In His grace,

Erika

p.s. My sister and I are also still posting on our shared blog from time to time, in case anyone is interested in reading. : )   http://warriorpoets.wordpress.com/

 Two weeks into the fall semester and classes are going very well. This semester is very different from my previous semesters in school, which makes it very refreshing. : )

 A word has come to me lately (from none other than Amy Carmichael) which has deeply encouraged me. It has been a long time since I've felt such peace in where the Lord has me.

Perhaps for years of Christian life, words about the desert blossoming as the rose flow over us like music. They do not speak to the inward man. And then a day comes when our road turns into the Valley of Baca, and we hear One, whose voice is not the voice of a stranger, saying to us, "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." And He comes and He comforts all our waste places, and our wilderness is like Eden and our desert is like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness are found therein, thanksgiving and the voice of melody. It is then that words we thought of before as only beautiful begin to open their hidden meaning; for, as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him. But God hath revealed them unto us by His Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God. And this miracle of His lovingkindness is one of the deep things of God. For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal - that is the word of the Valley of Balsam.
    But this does not push away sympathy with the traveller whose feet are hurt as he walks the rough way. It must be heart-rending to have to leave beloved people and places; it must be like tearing flesh from flesh. It must be torture to see a black flood flow over a hospital where the loving Lord has often laid His hands on the sick folk and healed them, or over a school which was home to happy children, and whose every room has held lovely memories. But it is more and more borne in upon us that our service, though appointed, and so the very core of our heart to us, does not come first in the thought of God. If it did, should we see the most needed taken from it, or crippled in some essential faculty? Should we see it trodden under the foot of the foe, or perhaps swept away altogether? Where spiritual work for our Lord is concerned, we constantly come straight upon mystery. There is something about it which seems to belong in essence to that great phrase, "The power of an endless life;" it looks out upon something else, something much greater. Is it that all we do now, however dearly blessed, is in the mind of our God viewed, not as an end but as a preparation for something else, service Elsewhere?
    But at this point thought stops. The things that are revealed belong unto us. This is not a fully revealed thing (though here and there our Lord clearly alludes to it in parable, and "His servants shall serve Him" is more than an allusion); so it belongs to our Father, and the word to us is the old word that teaches reverence to thought, "Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place wheron thou standest is holy ground."

- Amy Carmichael, from Though the Mountains Shake

 It's been much too long since my last post. I've lost a great deal of motivation lately due to various things. But the summer is coming to a close, school is about to begin, and life moves forward despite little disappointments or disruptions.

My sister took ill at the beginning of this summer. After many weeks of struggling to feed her to keep her from losing weight, praying day and night, a trip to the ER, and many hospital visits, we were finally given answers, direction, and healing. Soon after that, my 9 year Beagle was diagnosed with liver disease. He doesn't have much longer to live, but it is a blessing that he is without pain and can enjoy his last days in comfort. There's something about having an animal as a companion that simply cannot be described to those who don't know it. I'm not one for pampering animals and treating them as if they were a human. But they are so constant and so dear. They become a daily part of this wondrous life; how could we not grieve when they pass away? They are so precious to me.

Many plans have been canceled or postponed this summer for various reasons. In some ways, this summer has felt dragging and dull - spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I'm not looking forward to another long, busy semester.

And even worst, I feel as if my heart has been broken. To have hoped for something that is not yet mine to have....that is how my heart broke. To have thought things might be looking towards the direction of union and then disappointed.

What is a young woman to do when she has been in love with a dear, close friend for over three years? And to see the Lord working in that man's life so deeply - molding him more and more into an admirable, honest, strong Christian man....how can a young woman escape thoughts and hopes for a future with that man? And to desire that union so much that it becomes an idol in the heart, replacing full trust and confidence in the Lord alone?

But then to be silenced (as if three years didn't seem long enough) and told, "Now is not the time. Wait." 

Then to find out that they are separated by much more than just the 500+ miles that are presently between them.

Then to find that she is still very much a little girl in many ways and must be humbled, disciplined, and learn what selfless love looks like.

To wait in silence and tears. To surrender your heart to God and say, "Lord, do with my life as You will and let all my hope be in You alone. Make him a man of your Word, upright and true, that he may follow you all his days. And even if we cannot be together, if he is not the one and will belong to another woman and I to another man, may all our joy be found in You. May all our hope be in You.”

I hate being drug down by my flesh. I feel myself wallowing in self-pity and looking away from my Creator. I know I should praise Him. I know I should be storing up thankfulness in my heart. Lord, please purify my heart.

I found these word/hymns appropriate and refreshing. Thanks to A_Sweet_Fragrance for the hymn by Prentiss.

 If the love that “alone maketh light of every heavy thing, and beareth evenly every uneven thing” is not my heart’s desire, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I myself dominate myself, if my thoughts revolve round myself, if I am so occupied with myself I rarely have “a heart at leisure from itself,” then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I become entangled in any “inordinate affection”; if things or places or people hold me back from obedience to my Lord, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I wonder why something trying is allowed, and press for prayer that it may be removed; if I cannot be trusted with any disappointment, and cannot go on in peace under any mystery, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

-Amy Carmichael, "If"

Ah, no words there are to tell the sweetness
Of the soul, that, letting all things go,
Finds itself at rest in Christ's completeness,
Finds Him solace for its every woe.

- Elizabeth Prentiss

My Expectation is from Thee
- Elizabeth Prentiss

Lord, I have nothing, in myself am naught,
Weak as a bruised reed Thou findest me;
And yet I dare to call myself Thy child,
Because my expectation is from Thee.

I am so poor in grace, so weak in faith,
Seek Thee so feebly on the bended knee;
And yet I must keep seeking, still aspire
Because my expectation is from Thee.

I long so for Thy presence, yet how oft
My sins constrain me from Thy face to flee;
I grieve, I falter, but hold on my way
Because my expectation is from Thee.

I do the deeds I would not do, leave undone
The gracious work that should completed be;
I am ashamed and sorry, yet hope on,
Because my expectation is from Thee.

And the dread enemy of my poor soul
Tempts me to yield and fail; but even he
Gives place at mention of Thy dearest name
Because my expectation is from Thee.

So self-renouncing, desperate in myself,
My fallen ruins I can calmly see,
For when I poorest am, all lost and gone,
My only expectation is from Thee.

 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. - Romans 5:1-5